Though being “a good person” is often coupled up with being selfless, being a good person is not synonymous with being selfless. Sure being selfless is a wonderful ideal to live up to, but being selfless without self-care can leave … Continue reading
Who knows why the human condition is the way it is? It seems that no matter how many people contemplate, pontificate, philosophize, and analyze, it is still what it is. And much of the time what it is translates … Continue reading
I once read that the greatest teachers are not those who give the most profound answers, but rather those who ask the most compelling questions. Over the years, since reading this I have found in my own experience the statement … Continue reading
Yogas Chitta Vritti Nirodhah – The stilling of the fluctuations of the mind, this is yoga. For many yoga is just a means to get their feet behind their head, or to stand on their hands, or to do back … Continue reading
Frederich Nietzsche said “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” If you practice yoga have you ever bothered to ask yourself why, what is the goal? Have you found the time to unlock the … Continue reading
Perhaps you are already thinking of New Years resolutions? Maybe, like me, you are resolving to do new things and experience life differently all the time? Hopefully all of these desired courses of action require a small, if not large, … Continue reading
It is fair to presume that each of us struggles with feelings of worthiness that conflict with feelings of shame. Shame is that feeling that there is something wrong with you inherently. Worthiness is a feeling counter to shame. Learning how to identify and unwind our self-concepts of shame and transform them into concepts of absolute worth is a challenging and sometimes exhausting process. And acceptance is the key to the unwinding of those knots. Feelings of shame are intertwined with our desire to be approved of, just as explicitly as our feelings of self worth.
Learning where to place the power in the world or our inner dialogues is where some of our most profound work can be done. Knowing how to answer questions like, What voices are the most important to listen to? Which voices serve that which is life enhancing? Which voices serve as accepting, forgiving, and life empowering? Which voices walk you closer to the line of liability and regret? As we become more familiar with our voices, we become more capable of skillfully walking in the knowledge of our liabilities, but not being derailed by them.
No one is perfect. No one is without liability, without mistakes, without transgressions of their most integrous being. And alongside that, is the truth uttered by Brene Brown “there are no prerequisites for worthiness”. Just being alive makes you worthy. Worthy of love, worthy of peace, worthy of satisfaction, worthy of happiness, worthy of security, and on the list goes. You are enough.
Being enough as you are does not mean there is not still room to grow, but it does mean there is a baseline of worthiness and self approval to stand on. This baseline is a powerfully strong platform from which to launch a whole and ultimately peaceful life. Choosing to accept who you are, approve of yourself as an ever evolving human, and not shame yourself or others along the way is a great recipe for happiness. I recommend it!
Learning to love ourselves without condition is a process, and one worth undertaking. Such love does not mean that we are exempt from learning to be more discerning, mindful, loving people in thought, feeling, and action, it just means that we also know we can love ourselves and receive love wherever, and whoever we are. Such unconditional love replaces the stories of shame that say people wouldn’t want to love us if they really knew us, with the mantra that as we are, we are enough.
The need for approval is just as important as the need for love. The fundamental fact of the matter in regards to being approved of is that we set the standards for the measurements of approval that we need to meet.
You are enough.
With Love, Always, In All Ways, For Giving,
Dangerous. The world we live in. Dangerous. The thoughts we think. Dangerous. Ignorance. Dangerous. Awareness. Dangerous. Hate. Dangerous. Love. The terrorist attacks in Paris this weekend rippled an echo of danger around the world. Stirring a pot that is already … Continue reading
Learning to be rather than always be doing is one of the most challenging efforts any of us can undertake. Perhaps this is because we are taught at a young age that our value is measured by our legacy and … Continue reading
We all want to connect and feel like we belong, it is human nature. Over the course of our lives we wind in and out of relationships like strands of hair in a braid. From closeness to estrangement and sometimes … Continue reading